This can be a way for them to get some kind of help that can ultimately lead to positive changes in their alcohol/drug use. No, at least not in a healthy way while the addiction is active. An active drug addict might believe they love someone, and at times, they might behave lovingly. But it’s a broken relationship if active addiction is a part of it. Being in a relationship with a drug addict, I had been thinking that I had to end it with him completely and never see him again.

It was easy for him to hide it from me since we live far from each other. And he didn’t think it was a problem the last time we saw each other, even though he was hiding taking them from me. I still love him but my soulmate as I know him is gone. When I speak about it to anyone… everyone’s response is “leave him”, “he’ll never change! I love him n I’m so dependent on him to do stuff for me n us as a family and I sound pathetic saying all this which just fuels my now depression over what I’ve been through.

Don’t Take It Personally

I can’t speak to my family cz I just don’t wanna hear it! I kicked him out and I’ve just gotten lonelier and lonelier. My therapist I just feel (whether this is in my head or not) that I’m pathetic.

“A must read for anyone living with or https://ecosoberhouse.com/. I found it very easy to read and a sensible approach for so many of us stuck in our “trying to fix or support” role. I believe when someone is caught in the enabling role of a loved one, they can be helped by a sensible, clear approach.

Myth 5: Men always want sex more than women do.

I’ve lost two uncles from drug use & my family has a history of it. My real mom is their daughter & we’ve always talked & been somewhat close but she’s almost 70 now & still has a drug & alcohol problem. Yesterday she called me all messed up & I could tell. I love her but I can’t keep dealing with this… loving an addict When she’s not high or drunk she’s a great person.. I don’t understand it she will go a month or so without drinking or doing drugs & than just falls off of the wagon & does drugs again. Her husband texted me & said your mom has been drinking again & I have evidence that she’s been smoking crack.

Having an addicted loved one is an enormous stressor. The more time and energy you put towards your loved one, the fewer resources you have left to address your needs. Because of this, you need to take careful steps to retain your physical and mental health. It can be tough for loved ones, especially parents and significant others, not to take addiction personally. It’s not unusual to think that something you did caused them to use drugs or that you could’ve spared them from harm if only you did things differently. Guilt isn’t productive for anyone’s healing, but your involvement in their treatment and recovery can give them much-needed strength and support.

Frequently Asked Questions Regarding Loved Ones with Substance Use Disorders

Leaving the home hasn’t opened his eyes to anything cz he’s got people giving him money. To lose this weight could take years or months for my to have confidence to be seen! He says he loves me yet when we’re together he’s lying daily cz he’s using n hiding etc. The fallout from an addiction, for addicts and the people who love them, is devastating – the manipulations, the guilt, the destruction of relationships and the breakage of people. When addicts know they are loved by someone who is invested in them, they immediately have fuel for their addiction. You dread seeing them and you need to see them, all at once.

I have been with a wonderful woman for near ten years. She had normal SAHM issues that I witnessed my mom had growing up so never held anything against her, I had been happy still working at the same job as around when we had met. She was supportive, I had no bad feelings, never dreaded to see her. After 8.5 years there was such a sudden and magnitudinal change in her attitude toward me, our time together, the kids, my family and her family I could not figure it out. When my desire to spend time with her was met with resistance, I did not know what to do with it. Since then I have an ever present sinking feeling in my stomach even when she eventually revealed a cocaine problem and a problem with stimulants and alcohol in general.